Stargazers
by mysticVigil
Summary: RT heart to heart. Set during Tenchi Universe. Very old, sad, nostalgic.


Disclaimer – Tenchi and all related characters thereof are copyright Pioneer and AIC

Disclaimer – Tenchi and all related characters thereof are copyright Pioneer and AIC. I am making no profit off this piece of fanfiction. Please don't sue.

A/N – Okay, this is my first Tenchi fanfiction ever, so please be nice when reviewing. This is mostly a fic focused on Ryoko and Tenchi, _not_ necessarily in a romantic aspect (although I am a big fan of T/R). This follows the Tenchi Universe timeline, because I haven't seen most of the OAV (gasp!) and I'm not a huge fan of Tenchi In Tokyo (who is?). I'm sorry if I write Ryoko a bit OOC, but she's kind of hard to capture the exact personality. Anyway, kind of short, but I hope you enjoy!

~*Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star*~

Rain splattered against the windows and wind whipped through water-soaked branches of tall trees outside the Masaki home. Sitting in the twilight on the peaked roof, Ryoko's cyan hair was tossed furiously about her face, sopping tendrils plastering themselves on her slick, wet skin. 

She had originally gone on the roof to stare at the moon, hoping it would help ease her into the hypnotic trance known as sleep. However, she hadn't counted on soft raindrops starting to drop from the Heavens when the sky slowly changed from robin's egg blue to velvety purple, studded with shining silver stars; and, the bright moon being covered with thick storm clouds.

Most people would have gone inside, where it was warm, if a chilly mid-November rain had started to fall; they would have just lied in bed, surrendering to insomnia. But, Ryoko wasn't one to give in so easily if a little rain started to fall; she knew the stars and moon would help put her to sleep, if the shower would stop. Besides, somehow, the rain was comforting to the space pirate.

Turning her face upwards to greet the rain that had suddenly begun to lessen, Ryoko smiled, her yellow cat-like eyes shining intensely. This was her home, outside, underneath the magical sky; she had grown to love the sense of protection the thick veil of sky provided her. She wouldn't give up her mixed family on earth for anything; but, just sometimes, she wished she could be traveling again, just for more nights like this.

"Ryoko?" The voice that spoke that one word penetrated the tranquility instantly, and Ryoko turned, to find herself staring into a pair of dark brown eyes filled with worry-turned-relief. "Why are you out here?"

She responded with another question, instead of a straight answer. "Why were you looking for me, Tenchi?" she asked, playfully wrapping her arms around the neck of the seventeen-year-old in front of her. 

"No one's seen you since dinnertime," he replied, gently pushing her away from him, creating space. "We didn't know where you were…" he trailed off.

"Were you worried? Or did you want to take me up on my offer to have a little fun?" she whispered in his ear halfheartedly, coming closer. Truthfully, she didn't feel like playing today; the rain had calmed her.

Instead of pushing her away again, Tenchi smiled, brown eyes dancing. "Ryoko."

She knew that tone and instantly backed off, sitting on the roof once again. Turning her head upwards to the sky now studded with what seemed like burning jewels, and leaning back on her palms, she breathed in deeply. 

"Do you miss it?" Ryoko turned her head slightly, a bit startled by the voice. She hadn't counted on Tenchi taking a seat beside her, arms folded on his bent legs, leaning forward into the vast emptiness called the sky. Turning and seeing her confusion he added, "The sky, I mean. Space."

This was a new situation for the space pirate, and she wasn't quite sure what to do; but whatever Tenchi had expected, it wasn't that she would lie down on the roof, hands folded behind her head, and reply, "Sometimes. It's hard to say."

Mimicking her pose, Tenchi laid beside the pirate. "What do you mean?"

She shrugged, and heaved a sigh. "Sometimes I miss it all; I miss hurtling through space, fleeing from Galaxy Police officers, and that thrill. I miss talking to the stars when I got lonely. I miss seeing my face on wanted posters and knowing that everyone in the galaxy knew who I was." She noticed he grinned when she said that, and sat up.

"You spoke to the stars?"

Smiling wistfully, Ryoko nodded a couple of times. "I didn't have any real family, and my only friend was Ryo-ohki. I liked to pretend the stars were the family I never had." Her eyes watered, but she continued. "There was this one star around Jupiter – it was beautiful. Now it reminds me of Ayeka."

"What was it like?" he asked thoughtfully.

"Oh, it was lovely. I remember; it followed all the planets in line. And it always had to glow the brightest of all the stars." She chuckled lightly. "Even when it rained, the Ayeka-star glowed with all its strength. I liked to think of it as a sister." Anticipating Tenchi's next question, she went on. "I wanted a sister who could stand on her own two feet- and stand up for me at times so I didn't have to be the strong one all the time. And I got her- Ayeka is my sister."

"You two always fight," he started, but Ryoko abruptly cut him off.

"Sisters fight," she said simply, matter-of-factly. "Even the best of friends fight, sometimes. I never said we were perfect sisters- just sisters."

"Oh." Tenchi couldn't really think of a reply to that one. "Tell me, what were the other stars like?"

Ryoko smiled, and, perhaps pushing her luck so far, sat up and moved closer to Tenchi. Surprising her, he, almost automatically, moved one of his hands over one of hers, still staring out at the vast sea of blackness. She chose her words carefully before answering him, taking time to enjoy the feeling of his warm hand over hers.

"There was a small one by Ayeka. I never thought of it as anything- it was bright, sure, but not overly spectacular." The space pirate shrugged. "Now I guess I can think of it as Sasami- she's not overly spectacular, but she always shines brightly, no matter what." She sighed softly. "I only ever wanted one sister. But I love Sasami, and I wouldn't give her up for anything."

"That's a nice thought, Ryoko. She really looks up to you, I can tell." Ryoko smiled happily; she felt pure bliss, a swirling of emotions in her heart. Peering over at Tenchi, she saw his eyes- clouded over a bit, glazed with sleep. But still glistening, as he listened intently.

Carefully laying her head on his shoulder, she continued in a rush of words. "And I had this beautiful star picked out for my husband, the husband I wanted to have someday. I was the star near it- they were both the same size, but the husband star moved quicker, as if it were hurrying along, and I was following it, never quite catching up, dawdling, stopping, waiting. For fun. I don't know if the husband star even knew that there was a star following it. But I knew that my star would catch up to it one day." She paused and added, after a slight yawn, "The second star- it's you, Tenchi."

Ryoko started to snuggle closer to Tenchi, her eyes starting to close, but he jerked away from her, hastily. "Tenchi?"

"Ryoko, you know that couldn't be me."

"What do you mean?"

Tenchi took a breath, inhaling deeply the night air, and exhaled. "I'm sorry, but you know that isn't right. The two of us- we could never…." He trailed off, not daring to finish. He knew he had said too much already, hurt her with those words, few as they were.

He was right. "And why not?" she asked him, putting on a tough front, but wounded on the inside. Challenging, she asked, "Is it because I'm a space pirate?"

He knew she meant to sound bold, strong. But after so many months, years, of waiting, she just can out as meek and wounded, he thought. Turning, he replied, "No, I didn't mean it the way it came out."

"Why then?" When he turned his head, he got the first glimpse of her soul, through her eyes; outlined by moonlight, she would have reminded anyone of an angel, expect Tenchi; he could see the sorrow in her amber eyes, the pain, the anguish; she wasn't any regular angel, she was one of the fallen few.

"Ryoko, you and Ayeka, you always ask me to choose between the two of you. I can't do that."

"Why?" she asked, for the second time that night.

"It's nothing to do with you, personally. I love both of you. The scale tips at times, but I think I could say I love both of you equally. But Ryoko, you don't seem to understand. I'm only _seventeen_. I don't want a serious commitment, just yet. Maybe in a few years, but right now, I'm just too young."

"But I'm not," she barely managed to breath out, holding back tears. He saw her cry once, before he went to rescue Ayeka from Kagato, and once was enough.

"What?"

"_You_ don't seem to understand, Tenchi. Dammit, _you_ may be only seventeen, but _I'm_ not." Wistfully, she continued, propping her chin on her hands, staring out into space. "Tenchi, I've dreamed all my life, while I was in space, about how I would someday have a family. A husband, a child or two… I just thought that maybe, for once, my dream would come true." As she sighed, Tenchi tried to speak, but Ryoko cut him off. "I even wished upon a star once, you know."

Turning her head towards Tenchi now, staring him in the eye, he could see how he had unintentionally hurt her. He hadn't even said he didn't love her…. just that he was too young. 

"Tenchi, do you know how much it hurts to have to wish on a shooting star because you're so alone and it's the only thing close by? Because you'll never have a family otherwise?" she pulled her legs to her chest now, burying her face in her knees and the soft cloth of her dress. 

"Ryoko, I- I didn't mean… that I didn't love you, I just-"

"I know what you meant, Tenchi," she interrupted him. Slowly, he put his arms around her, Ryoko flinching. And he had thought he'd never see the day when she refused his touch. She turned her tear-stained face to him, blinking. "Don't," she said simply. 

He pulled away. "I don't know how much it hurts. Ryoko, I'll never know what it was like for you, to be you. But you'll never know what it's like to be _me_. All of you, constantly, you fight, bicker, over me, a country boy. An _indecisive_ country boy. Indecisive because I'm too young to pick one of you, and because I know when I do, you'll all leave. You do understand this, don't you Ryoko?" His voice was low, and caring, but the words still stung at her soul.

She sat sniffling, looking at the moon for a few moments, barely acknowledging his presence. He asked if she understood- how could she? She had never known love, and never known what it was like to be rejected- how could he ask her to understand those feelings, when she had never experienced them?

"Ten- Tenchi… I don't know. I don't know if I- if I really do understand," she stuttered, mumbling. "I- I could say I understand- I guess I could do that. But that would be lying." She turned to him, and looked into his chocolate eyes, searching for something, anything. Something she could play off of, instead of having to outright lie to the man she loved. When she couldn't find anything, expect for a dull hint of confusion, she went on- "Do you want me to lie to you, my Tenchi?"

He shook his head slowly, the perplexity still not quite leaving his eyes. "Then no, Tenchi, I don't understand. I can't understand love. Up among the stars," she looked up and took in the sight of the sky, studded bright with light, "I didn't _have_ to understand. And maybe it's too late to understand."

"Then maybe it's to late for the both of us." Ryoko gaped at him, unable to speak to this new, more forceful Tenchi. "I mean," he continued evenly, "if you can't seem to understand, and I can't choose just to make it so you don't _have_ to understand, then it's too late. It's passed you by Ryoko, and it hasn't yet hit me. Love, I mean." He looked at her sadly, a hint of the old Tenchi returning, and put a finger under her chin. "You can understand _this_, can't you?"

She understood full well. He didn't want her- not now, at least. Maybe in a few years… but she couldn't wait that long. She just couldn't. All she had to do was nod- but nodding would make it so final. 

Tears in her eyes, she instead replied, "No, Tenchi- _you're_ the one who refuses to understand. To understand _me_." She continued, sighing, "I think it's now that only my friends, the stars understand me. And I need that- I need someone- _something_- to understand me."

He looked down, speechless. What was he to say to that?

"Tenchi, maybe I'd better leave." It hurt her so much to say this, but it was what was needed- right? 

"Ryoko, please, this is partly why I haven't chosen. So no one would leave… so you wouldn't leave…" he trailed off, unable to continue.

"Well Tenchi," she replied bitterly, "things don't always work out the way we planned, am I right?" She was so close to crying again, but her tears stopped when Tenchi wrapped her in a hug.

"Ryoko, my friend, don't let me let you go," he whispered softly. She froze, and gently put her arms around him too, resting her chin on his shoulder but saying nothing.

***

Sun streaming in his window, the storm from the night before completely gone, and no sign that there had been such thing, Tenchi Masaki groggily rolled over in his bed, yawning and scratching his head. Looking down, he realized he had fallen asleep in his clothes, which were now rumpled. The last thing he remembered was being on the roof with Ryoko…

Sitting bolt upright, he was suddenly awake. Pushing off his covers and scrambling out of bed, Tenchi ran to his window, peering outside. Normally, a beautiful, sunny day would have been good news for him, but not today.

Slowly, he climbed onto the roof, expecting to find _something_… Maybe a sleeping Ryoko, at the very least. Instead, he found nothing… not a trace that he had spoken to her on that very roof just the night before.

Until he came to the very end. There, set precariously at the end of the shingles Masaki roof was a small box, the exact same size as a jewelry box. The leaves carved into the mahogany wood were beautiful, twisting around carved vines in an intricate pattern. He took a moment to trace the pattern with a finger, and awe over its beauty, before he got to wondering what it was doing on his roof.

Why was it just sitting there? He was sure it hadn't been there the night before. Turning it over, he peered at the bottom, only to find a small '_Ryo_' etched into the fine wood. _Ryo_… short for Ryoko?

There was a small, rusted silver latch on the top lid, holding it to the bottom. A tiny lock was at first thought to be shutting the contents of the box from the outside world, but at second glance, Tenchi noticed that the lock was open. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he lifted the lid, closing his eyes.

He wasn't sure at first what to expect. Maybe something; maybe nothing. But what he expected wasn't the soft twinkling of a jewelry box, and a tiny silver star revolving around a slightly bigger, beautiful golden moon. He couldn't have been sure, but he could have sworn the tune that was filling the morning air was "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"; the melody filled his ears, so intriguing. Slowly, almost mechanically, he put two of his fingers on the moon, feeling it's tiny grooves.

He knew he ought to wonder where the glorious box had come from; it couldn't have just appeared out of nowhere. But it was as if his mind was empty of all thoughts, or as if he didn't even _have_ a mind; it was just there, dead weight, like a fluff of cotton, filling up extra space in his head. He didn't wonder about it, didn't take it inside; inside, he just sat, mesmerized by the rotating moon and star.

He would have just sat there all morning, watching the star move around the sun in the daintiest way possible, is not for the glimpse of white just below the two. Pulling at it, it moved a little – was it a trapdoor? – and pulled out a white piece of paper, no larger than half an envelope would be. Feeling that, true, it was someone else's property, and not his, but at the same time, that some unknown force was pulling him towards this box and the contents, he unfolded the creases ceremoniously and peered at it, not sure what the expect; the box was, obviously, full of mysteries.

In small handwriting, a flurry of words was scrawled onto the paper, beautiful and curving perfectly at first, then messier and messier. Squinting, Tenchi could barely make them out, being so small, but could still read the first, plain as day; _'Dear Tenchi…' _Intrigued, he read on.

'My Little Star 

_ _

_'I know you didn't want me to leave; believe me, I didn't want to either. But it's for the best, I know… I can't deny, my Tenchi, that you are only seventeen, and that you're too young to make a decision. I came to terms with my feelings… I know it wouldn't be fair to have you make a choice, and even if you did… You would have made the choice pressured, not of your own free will. If I could, Tenchi, I would turn the clock around, and take back what I said before; but, that isn't going to go away no matter what._

_'I want you to know that I'll love you forever. I really will, no matter what; love just doesn't disappear. But I also know, we can never be together, even if someday you do feel the same for me. Too much has been said, too much has been done… The fire finished burning Tenchi, and you can't rekindle the ashes. I'm sorry that's the way things had to work out… It's not the way I had hoped, or dreamed.'_

It was here where the words began to increase in sloppiness, and every other words was blurred with tears; it made Tenchi's eyes shine bright just reading it.

_'I wondered if we could be something, Tenchi… and now I know, the answer is no. But still I wonder… Is this the way things were meant to play out? I don't think we've seen the last of each other; yet, at the same time my heart aches to think that I may never see you again. But even wondering doesn't change what's been said._

_'Tenchi, I have decided to return home; not to my second home; my first home, my home, amongst the stars. It hurts me to say that, it kills me, but it's the way it has to be. But every time you look into the sky, Tenchi, I will be there—I'm the sun and the moon, the planets and the stars. I'll look out for you, and when you need me, I'll be there. I'll be your strength… I'll be anything and everything. My Little Star, I will never leave you. I'll wipe your tears, and I'll never leave your side, even for a moment._

_'Damned as my feelings may be, they'll always be there. I love you, Little Star, now and forever, through and through- please don't forget me. ~How I Wonder~'_

Knees shaking, Tenchi read the letter over once, twice… three times. He didn't think it could be possible- yet he knew, in his heart; it was true. She had left. Possibly forever. He didn't know what he would do… What he would tell the family, what he would do with their reactions… How he would deal in a few years when he recognized his one and only had slipped through his fingers.

Folding the letter back along the same creases, he replaced it in the beautiful mahogany box, and tucked it under his arm, turning his head toward the sky. The day didn't seem nearly as wonderful now; the sun seemed like a mockery of his feelings, and the lovely breezes now had a bitter edge to each and every one. But he took in every detail; this day he wouldn't ever forget, no matter what.

Ducking his head, he didn't hear the footsteps coming up behind him. Instead, he took one of the browning and wet leaves from the roof, and twirled the stem in his fingers. This, he thought, would go in that little mahogany box; it would forever be a reminder of this day, until it eventually disintegrated.

He jumped when he felt a small hand on his shoulder, and the person attached to the hand jumped also. Swiveling around, he sighed relief; "Oh Ayeka, it's just you."

Ayeka smiled, her red-brown eyes twinkling, light playing off her lilac hair and beautiful features. "Why of course Lord Tenchi." She motioned to the open window. "We were expecting you and that devil woman at breakfast; she probably had a drinking spree last night, and is out somewhere, but I would have at least expected _you_ to join us." There was no humor in her lilting voice, but she smiled, showing she wasn't angry.

Tenchi didn't answer her, but let his gaze drift to the small box he held, and ran his finger over the lid affectionately. Ayeka cocked her head to get a better look at it; "My Tenchi, but what is that?"

Tenchi stood up and smiled, a bit crookedly, and ran his fingers through his hair. Leaving Ayeka thoroughly confused, he took her by the crook of the arm, and, putting the tiny leaf in the gorgeous box, closed the lid, and led her to his large window. "Ayeka," he began, stepping through, "there's something I need to tell you, and I'll need your help telling it to the family…"

***

Okay, I lied. It _was_ in a romantic aspect, sort of, but I hope you still enjoyed it. It was meant to be a tearjerker, but I don't really think I succeeded. In fact, I think I only had one actual tearjerker in my time here at ff.net… yeah. And I kinda stole a quote from Eve 6 up there; see if you can find it. It's from "Here's to the Night", there's a clue- I _love_ that song! Anyways, R+R please! I really do like suggestions, of every kind, whether they be constructive criticism, praise… whatever. As long as they aren't flames. Um, I hope I kept Ryoko in character… and Tenchi for that matter. I kind of made him harsh at parts, but he needed to be, for the fic to work. So, lots of love to y'all - ~*Liz*~.


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